Sunday, October 23, 2011

Wish me luck

Just a few days shy of eleven months since my baby died, my H and I are going for an IUI. I agree, IUI is a very common procedure these days, and many women go for it, but what surprises me is that I didn't have to be here. I should have been in my home instead spending time with the gorgeous boy who woud be turning one next month.

What have I done to be here?

Am setting foot into the zone I have never been before. Tuesday is my IUI, and am finding it so hard to skip office and go for various scans and everything. And to think that this is just the beginning of the journey. No one knows where the end is. Or if there is really one. And to think that I shouldn't have been taking this trip at all. I already had a baby. He was born without me having to go through any procedures, and was a gift. And to think that I lost that precious gift and have to start all over again. Not from the same place that I started last time, but few steps further behind.

Please wish that something works for me. Something at last.

10 comments:

  1. Thinking of you and hoping your IUI is successful.

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  2. I have my fingers crossed ever so tightly that this iui gives you what you're looking for. :)

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  3. I sometimes have similar thoughts like I should be somewhere else in a different universe with a 3 month old. I hope the IUI is successful!!!

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  4. Good luck on your IUI. I hope to get to that point but its a process and of course first I have to go through all this testing with the fertility - obgyn doc. I wish you didnt have to go through it either, that Vitu was still here with you. I always feel that way, the way my life should be. Like this some weird alternate dimension that I should not be in. Sending fertlity wishes your way!

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  5. I am wishing so much for you. sending you lots of love and fertility vibes!

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  6. I got pregnant with Liam doing an IUI, so hopefully that will do the trick for you. My fingers and toes and crossed:)

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  7. Good luck! I agree it's not fair - feel the same way about starting over, but even further back :( Just hold on to hope that some good things will still happen.

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  8. Wishing that IUI bring you success and the baby you so deserve. Keep us posted and thinking of you...Hugs

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  9. Good luck with IUI. My prayers are with you.

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