Sunday, March 13, 2011

The blessing after a long TTC

My husband and I had tried for an year - before I conceived my little vitu. I still remember - a week in the month of May - I were alone in the house since dh was abroad - the thought that we may never be able to hold a baby struck me. I wept alone in the balcony of our house. Somehow, I felt it is terrible to be childless. Not have your own children. My mother said adopt a baby. I wanted to try IVF or something like that. I just wanted a baby.

My periods were delayed that month. There was some discharge and cramps. I realized my body is playing games with me. Some 6 months earlier my period had delayed and we'd been to doctor for a pregnancy test - it had turned negative - and we were so depressed. I was cautious this time. My periods never came. I had sore breasts and something was telling me this could be the month.

One evening, when I was about a week late, I secretly went to the pharmacy and bought HPT strips. I told my dh I'd been there to buy a shampoo. I tested myself in the bathroom. Oh my God. Those two lines. I called my dh and informed him. We decided to go to doc and confirm same day. Doc did a urine test and confirmed. Yes. There was a baby. Oh my God. This is an unbelievable moment. I carefully preserved the test strip. That was such a sweet sight. The first evidence of my baby. I couldn't throw it.

Next day, we went to gynac. I told her about the slight discharge- for which she said 'don't worry'. She did a HCG test or something - and confirmed its a good pregnancy. Wow! We haven't told anyone but just my mother who was staying with us at the moment. Wow! we were still worried about slight discharge now & then. The day the gynac confirmed its a good pregnancy, an Air India flight crashed. My husband had taken the same flight only last week. Everyone was burnt to death. We were so saddened. I still remember telling my dh that night that our problems were so small when compared to the people on that flight and their relatives. Dh agreed. He's the best guy. Agrees with me always.

I had terrible morning sickness around 6th week. We went to the gynac. I'd taken a sick leave. That day, she confirmed there was a peanut - with a heartbeat. I saw that thing flickering on her screen. Broke the news to dh on my way back in the taxi. He was in office.

I still remember the happiness in his face when he returned from work that evening. He was so glad. We were going to have a baby finally!

I called my father and he called his mother to give the good news. We had some good news after all the chase.

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