Friday, April 15, 2011
This was the date I had to remember throughout my pregnancy.
I remember telling this date to the nurse in that obscure clinic where I was rushed to when my water broke prematurely at 30 weeks 3 days.
This was the date I repeated at every u/s, every visit to my gyne in Dubai and the only normal visit to the gyne in India.
It was a date that helped them calculate how many weeks I was through each time.
It was a date I was happy of getting farther and farther from with each month advancing with my pregnancy.
It was the date my parents my arrived in Dubai for a vacation last year (a coincidence).
Do I have any proof today that can show me how important this date was? I don't have a baby in a crib in my house. I don't have a baby whose cries and laughs I can hear to.
I don't have a baby whom I can bathe and feed. I don't have a baby whom I can fondle and kiss.
I don't have a baby whom I can hold tight against my chest and spend the evenings with.
I'm so empty handed.
I live like a ghost in a sad baby less house with my husband.
Is this fair?