Friday, April 15, 2011

April 15

This was the date I had to remember throughout my pregnancy. 

I remember telling this date to the nurse in that obscure clinic where I was rushed to when my water broke prematurely at 30 weeks 3 days.

This was the date I repeated at every u/s, every visit to my gyne in Dubai and the only normal visit to the gyne in India.

It was a date that helped them calculate how many weeks I was through each time.

It was a date I was happy of getting farther and farther from with each month advancing with my pregnancy.

It was the date my parents my arrived in Dubai for a vacation last year (a coincidence).

Do I have any proof today that can show me how important this date was? I don't have a baby in a crib in my house. I don't have a baby whose cries and laughs I can hear to. 

I don't have a baby whom I can bathe and feed. I don't have a baby whom I can fondle and kiss.

I don't have a baby whom I can hold tight against my chest and spend the evenings with.

I'm so empty handed.

I live like a ghost in a sad baby less house with my husband.

Is this fair?


  1. It is so unfair. Anniversaries, important dates are all so hard, especially the first year. Be gentle with yourself. Remembering Vitu.

  2. Thinking of you and baby Vitu.

  3. You and baby Vitu are in my thoughts and prayers today.

  4. It is not fair. Sending love and remembering baby Vitu with you~