Friday, April 15, 2011

April 15


This was the date I had to remember throughout my pregnancy. 

I remember telling this date to the nurse in that obscure clinic where I was rushed to when my water broke prematurely at 30 weeks 3 days.

This was the date I repeated at every u/s, every visit to my gyne in Dubai and the only normal visit to the gyne in India.

It was a date that helped them calculate how many weeks I was through each time.

It was a date I was happy of getting farther and farther from with each month advancing with my pregnancy.

It was the date my parents my arrived in Dubai for a vacation last year (a coincidence).

Do I have any proof today that can show me how important this date was? I don't have a baby in a crib in my house. I don't have a baby whose cries and laughs I can hear to. 

I don't have a baby whom I can bathe and feed. I don't have a baby whom I can fondle and kiss.

I don't have a baby whom I can hold tight against my chest and spend the evenings with.

I'm so empty handed.

I live like a ghost in a sad baby less house with my husband.

Is this fair?

5 comments:

  1. It is so unfair. Anniversaries, important dates are all so hard, especially the first year. Be gentle with yourself. Remembering Vitu.

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  2. Thinking of you and baby Vitu.

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  3. You and baby Vitu are in my thoughts and prayers today.

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  4. It is not fair. Sending love and remembering baby Vitu with you~

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