Sunday, May 22, 2011

When can I try again?

After my baby died, last November, I wanted to try again and have a baby badly. The morning after my baby was buried, my breasts were swollen and aching and I had to squeeze the milk out and drain. I remember that day when my heart was heavy like a stone. My dad then later got the pills which gyn prescribed for the milk to drain.

I wanted a baby. I had delievered one eleven days ago and had just laid him to rest. But I wanted a baby to hold again.

My gyn in India told me in Jan when I met her that I could start trying from June 2011. Owing to my c-section scar. I had mentally divided that period into 2 bundles of 3 months each - once I knock this time off I can try again - that's what my husband also kept telling.

Now, we are soon to reach this mark where we can start trying. I'd met this new super duper gyn in Dubai few days ago and today she called me to say my preliminary investigatory tests are okay. There is no cause she can pinpoint for my preterm labour. The only reasons, she mentioned, could be a short cervix or a bacterial infection or no reason at all. Which will be known only after I get pregnant again.

She said I should strictly start trying after 12 months. That's the minimum gap. Which would be almost next year.

I'm very sad today. I wanted to start trying next month onwards. Now am scared. Am scared about the possibility of having incompetent cervix too. My uterine scar hurts now and then when I cough etc. Am scared about it. Am scared about lot of things.

Miss my baby. By losing him.... I have lost a lot. I guess its going to be a very long wait before seeing my baby again.

8 comments:

  1. I find it so interesting how the advice we all get from doctors is so different. My doctor told me to wait 9 months after my c-section. I have known others whose doctors said 6 months after a c-section. It's all very confusing and upsetting I think.

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  2. I'm so sorry that you've gotten this disappointing news. It must be very hard to accept and get through the next six months. Like my new normal said, it seems every doctor is different. I had a vaginal delivery and have been told to wait six months. I'm not getting too excited as we've never conceived on our own so we will just wait and see what happens. Thinking of you and sending love.

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  3. Yeh, it's all confusing. I was told I could start trying as soon as I'd finished my post partum period, and I too had a c-section. So bizarre. Here I am 4 months out and I am literally aching to hold another McBabe. I can't imagine waiting a year to try, but I guess you have to do what will give you the (hopefully) best chances next time around...

    I'm sorry you were delayed. :(

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  4. Like everyone else said it's confusing on when to try again. I had a c-section and was told a minimum of 3 months but they'd prefer 6. Sorry to hear your doctor gave a longer time of waiting. I think we all want a baby in our arms so badly and this waiting is like torture. Thinking of you always.

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  5. I'm sorry your doctor said you had to wait. It's also hard when you dont know exactly the cause of the preterm labor. Just know that next time they will take all the proper precautions to give you the best chance of taking home a healthy and term (or close to term) baby.

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  6. I too was told 6 months to a year, but didn't listen. Not that it did me any good, but it was what I thought I needed. I know waiting is horrible and ttc forever is horrible as well. It becomes an insatiable longing. Thinking of you and little Vitu and sending strength for whatever You decide.

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  7. Sorry, I was away and didnt get a chance to check your posts lately.
    Its very confusing how different doctors advise different people. At the end of day, i think its better to first emotionally and physically heal before trying again. I know the physical part is far easier than the emotional part but keep courage. My prayers are with you.

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  8. Hi again,

    Yep, I can hear every single word you say and nod.

    Can I ask you something? Next pregnancy, try and stay in Dubai only, will you?

    I have had very different opinions on when we should start trying. You see, the baby's Pediatrician said we must take a one-year break; our WTF Gyn said three months (yes!) and my OB here said Six months.

    I went with three months. Work with the least margin because I know how rosy my fertility has been.

    Please take care, and I understand the desperation for another baby coz I am living the same hell.

    P.S. I had a C-section too.

    You could cheat a bit and start trying in August?

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