Saturday, July 9, 2011

Last year this time

In June Last year, I had terrible morning sickness. I had to go to work, and had often thought of quitting work but had decided against it because the job was good and morning sickness was expected to last only the initial few weeks. My mother incidentally was visiting us in Dubai, so cooking and taking care of the household was not a problem at all. There were a few days I had to call in sick at work. And on those days when I went to work, I was tired. I couldn't eat or drink anything and had to keep visiting the restroom because I threw up so much.

We lived in a great sea side rented apartment. The apartment was expensive but it perhaps is the most beautiful house I have ever lived in. The drive to my workplace from the house was approximately 45 mins. This travel time made me very sick. I was quite okay on the weekends, so I concluded that it's indeed the travel everyday that was making me so sick. I wanted to move into an apartment close to my workplace. The seaside apartment's contract was uphill December 2010, terminating it was not possible because it would mean we had to pay a huge penalty.

So my husband and I rented a secondary flat, a studio, near my office. We invested in some furniture and other stuff for this flat and started staying here during the workdays. On weekends we just drove back to our big flat and stayed there and again on the first day of the week went to the studio flat. It's weird why we did that but it helped me overcome my morning sickness and I was much healthy and was comfortable going to work. Our expenses were double, but we kept telling ourselves, it's okay, we are doing all this for our baby, so it's okay.

We wanted that baby so badly. We were waiting for him like anything. Never waited for anything in our lives like this.

The contract of sea side flat ended in December 2010 and my husband moved into another flat. The studio was sublet to somebody when I had gone to India in November for my delivery. 1st week of July, studio's contract ended. We had to finish the formalities and bring the furniture we had invested there to the flat we staying in now.

It's been arranged in the living room and wherever we could find space. I look at them and think - only if my baby were here. Al the stuff, all the things, that wereq there when my baby was inside are still here. World has gone on smoothly, eventlessly, nothing has changed anywhere- except that my baby was so alive last year and this year now - he's just a memory. How is it possible? I dont get it.

If only my baby were here today. My little Vitu...I loved him, love him so much.


  1. How sweet that you rented a 2nd flat to make it easier for you to work.. Funny the things you do to ensure a healthy baby, and then...


  2. Thinking all the things you are. This time last year, etc. I remember when riding in the car with my husband and feeling sick due to turns or circles. I'd give anything to go back to last summer. I also understand about doing everything for your baby. We had IVF which is not covered by our health insurance, only till you are pregnant does our insurance start to cover. Oh how I want last summer. Thinking of you and your little Vitu. <>

  3. It's so hard to think about where we were last year, back when we were happy and hopeful.
    I wish Vitu could be here with you too.