Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I have been debating whether I should be posting this update. Because, it seems so unreal, far- fetched. It feels like a dream where you know you are dreaming and know that this wont be there when you wake up. It's all a big lie.
I'm scared to post this because it feels like a big lie. And it's only a matter of time before it will be revealed to me.
I have not spoken about this to anyone in my real life. My parents know because they are with us here now. Am not planning to tell this to my brother either, or in-laws.
Okay, so the news is, today at the scan, we saw not one but two sacs. With two heartbeats. One measured 6w3d, and another 6w1d. One's heartbeat was at 118, another's, I didn't hear what doctor said. To be brutally honest, this possibility had crossed my mind after I discovered OHSS, and the high HCG. But somehow, I didn't expect to see two beans there today.
I have never imagined myself as a twin momma. Even now, even if I force my mind, it's impossible to see any such fantasy. I truly don't believe this can happen. After being at the receiving end for such a long time, it's impossible to believe good things will happen to me.
But I wanted to share the news here. After the scan at the fertility clinic, I made a call to the high risk OB who I have started seeing. When I told her the news, she asked me 'if they checked my cervix length?' I said no. She has asked me to come over this weekend to check this. I will be discussing with her my issues with leaking water. I'm leaking few drops of water everyday from my 'v' area. Colorless, odorless, few drops. It started soon after IUI. The infertility specialist thinks such discharge is normal but I don't believe him.
So I have more than one reason to not believe what's happening with me, correct?