Saturday, February 4, 2012

Cerclage Tomorrow

At just over 16 weeks tomorrow, am going to have a cerclage placed. In the last couple weeks, I switched my OB. I was with an OB earlier who is considered high risk specialist, and she was very calm and nice however, I felt her a little less proactive. I went to see another high risk OB and loved her instantly because she appeared totally totally proactive. She strongly recommended a cerclage and monitored by cervix at every visit transvaginally. She noticed that my cervix appears slightly bent. Over a period of 10 days, it had also marginally gone down from 3 cm to 2.85 cm.

I waited to finish my work, which was last Thursday to have the surgery scheduled. So that I can go on immediate bed rest. To be honest, am totally terrified of the cerclage surgery. They will be using a spinal Anastasia; last time I had it for my emergency c-section. You all know how that story had ended.

This pregnancy has been nerve-wrecking so far. And to think that am not even half way through technically. It's very hard to believe all will be well. I do want to dream of a future. A happy, normal family with my children and husband..I find it so hard. Many years ago, I'd read a book called 'A monk who sold his Ferrari', where the writer says something like everything has two occurrences. There is one real image and one virtual image everything. So if you'd like something to happen in real life, you need to visualize it first in your imagination. In your brain's imaging ability. I try to visualize a life with children. It's so hard. Just so hard.

In India, I often came across a group of people, even little children, doing rope-walking on the streets. They don't do it for entertainment but rather to earn a living. This pregnancy has been, and continues to be such an act. My husband and I are constantly rope-walking. And we both are not enjoying this but quite terrified.

Please wish me that this cerclage thing goes smoothly and the cerclage does exactly what it's meant to do and not something adverse. I need all your kind wishes. Badly.

Love to all.

8 comments:

  1. You've got it lady, I'll be thinking of you. :)

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  2. Just wanted to let you know that I got a cerclage months and months ago and you will do great! It's not that bad and once it's over, you will feel much more safe. Good luck!

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  3. Thinking of you! Glad to see an update and hear that your pregnancy continues. Another friend of mine got a cerclage a few months back, and her pregnancy is going well. Wishing the same for you.

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  4. Sending lots and lots of well wishes! I'll be thinking of you as well.

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  5. Will definitely be thinking about you. Hope the cerclage goes well and also the rest of the pregnancy goes by with ease.

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  6. I was just wondering how you were when I went to my account and saw that you had posted. I will definitely be thinking of you and hoping the procedure goes well for you. Please let us once you feel like sharing. Wishing you all the best and that you can keep walking the tight rope but maybe with a little hope. Hugs to you.

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  7. Thinking of you, Sweetie. I hope the procedure went smoothly and you are recovering well. Yes, you are most definitely "rope-walking," but we, your sisters in grief, are on either side, helping to keep you upright as best we can.

    Hugs...

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  8. Sending you as many positive vibes as I can muster. It will all go well will be my chant for you.

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