I need to thank you

Thank you for all the comments. I cannot express how much I'm thankful to this blog and the kindness of people who read and comment. 

I don't know one person in real life who is a combination of infertility+first baby loss+c-section ... The only people I know who fall in this horrible horrible segment are YOU. Really. I don't have anyone in real life who has gone through/going through what I'm now. Which is actually good (for the normal functioning of the world?) but it leaves me no one to seek advice from but this blog.

I wanted to ask you sweet mommas: does your c-section scar hurt sometimes? Mine does. Slightly. Generally when I do cough, it hurts. I told my OB who performed my c-section about this a few months ago and she told me that could be because I'm concentrating too much on it. In normal scenario (where people have a baby to take care of after c-section), there's a distraction.

My scar hurts a little still. I asked this question once on Inspire (a premie support group), where many mommas said they feel little pain there even after an year.

In other news, I met a co-worker in office whom I knew when I were pregnant. He had just returned after a long vacation (in India) because his project had been stalled and has taken off again now. I also knew this person in another capacity - he used to be a member of our community gatherings in Dubai. He knows my husband and my other family (mainly my H's side of family whose here).

Now, I met him in office yesterday and went to him and said 'hi'. He asked me with a smile 'when did you return from your vacation?'. I had met him in one of the parties couple of weeks before I left for my "vacation". So probably he remembers. I normally never tell people my story because I'm scared of their lack of empathy. But when they ask this question, what am I supposed to do?

So I told him -"my baby passed away. So I retuned in Jan". (I accept I didn't say it in a dramatic voice. I didn't cry when I said this. I said this in my natural sad voice. Only my heart knows how sad I am)

He ignored what I said, continued smiling and said something about his job or some crap, which I didn't register. I thought maybe this guy didn't hear what I just said so I made an attempt to explain how my baby died in a few sentences.

But this guy is in a completely different world and is talking about his own thing. He asked something about how my H's brother in law is. (Because I believe he is friends with him). At that moment I thought it'd make more sense  to rather ask 'how my H is' because its he whose baby has died.

I quickly ended the conversation after that and returned to my desk and promised myself to never see this guy's face again.

But am appalled by the fact that I'm acquainted with or keep coming across such people.

Something is wrong with me, surely.